FO

Sun, 16 Apr 2006 20:38:25 GMT

to her own reflection she cries i will be strong

friends only
pro-ed

i do not claim to have an eating disorder,
but i do know that i have disordered eating.

i fast, i count calories obsessivly and my ultimate goal is to be as thin as thin can be. this isn't a fad, this isn't a quick way to lose weight, this is how i've been for most of my life. i don't promote this lifestyle, its not healthy at all. i know i'm fucking up my body so i don't need you to tell me. but the only thing that makes me feel comfortable is to know that i'm starving and to know that one day i'll reach perfection. control, i live for it.

in this journal i'll talk about calories, food, exercising, struggles. i'll complain that i'm fat, i'll post pictures of skinny people, i'll post pictures of fat people who i hope to never look like. i'll talk about whats going on in my head and i'll post recipes for lo-calorie foods. i'll ask for advice and i'll update on my stats/the way things are going.

if you're interested in adding me, go for it. i'm a very friendly person, i swear.

please note:
this is not my regular journal, this is a private journal seperate from my every day journal. i don't want people to know that i've fallen into this way of life again because at my worst, i confessed to people what i was doing and now everyone knows - not that they watch me closesly, but they'll pick up signs. if you have an ED journal and a regular journal, let me know and i'll add your regular journal to my regular journal and your ed journal to my "ed" journal.

kate

FO